the-rest-in-trumpets:

katswhiskers:

velvetonions:

imagine a milkshake place called “shakesperience” where all the milkshake flavours are named after puns of shakespeare plays

  • Oreothello
  • Rolo and Juliet
  • Macberry
  • Mars Ado About Nothing
  • Antonutella and Cleopatra
  • Merchocolate of Venice
  • Two Gentlemint of Verona
  • Richerry III

It would bringeth all the gentlemen to the yard. 

floopyluvspineapples:

You always have that one follower who attacks your notifications in the middle of the night and goes through your blog, reblogging everything in sight.

And you’re just like:
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oknope:

the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza.

klartie:

"we’re having mcdonalds for dinner"

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"i made cookies"

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"i did your laundry for you" 

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"we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours" 

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benigoat:

Trying to sleep in summer with the covers on

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ICE TEA IMPORTED FROM ENGLAND.

LIFEGUARDS IMPORTED FROM SPAIN.

TOWELS IMPORTED FROM TURKEY.

and TURKEY IMPORTED FROM MAaAaINE. 

poyzn:

Animals that are really awesome.

lordoftheswag:

did you just say the n word?

white person:

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whatfulllipsyouhave:

hatsumiyo-momichi:

when you receive a sweet anon out of nowhere and you’re like

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I love this because you can’t tell who’s the anon and who’s the receiver.

nudqe:

"white people can’t danc-"

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"white people can’t twer-"

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ooh-bite-me:

when your mom walks up behind you while you’re blogging

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dixiegent:

pantryraids:

why do dads sneeze so loud

To assert dominance over lesser sneezers